Learning to Give a Little Grace
Something that I’ve grown to be pretty good at is, giving people the benefit of the doubt. Life is crazy, people are messy, and things aren’t always what they seem. If I encounter someone who is particularly brusque, I can usually come up with possible reasons for their demeanor. “It’s because they are having a bad day, it’s not me,” or something of the like. In other words, it’s become a working practice to extend grace to others. Funnily enough, as much as I’ve learned to extend grace outward, I’ve somehow had the hardest time extending it towards myself.
As a lifelong perfectionist, I always have a specific vision for how I want things to go. Whether it be a project I’m working on, a new hobby, or posts for this blog, my standards for myself are impossibly high. While this can be an asset to a certain extent, more often than not, it turns out to be debilitating. When the finished product doesn’t match the immaculate image in my head, I tend to get stuck re-working it in an endless cycle until my inner critic is appeased.
Thankfully, I’m starting to figure out that perfection isn’t real. It’s not something that can be attained, and because of the grace of God, it’s not something that’s expected of me.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
lamentations 3:22-23
This verse popped up in my morning devotional earlier this year, and I couldn’t help but be struck by it. The Lord’s mercies are new every morning, and they never come to an end. No matter how perfect I am. In fact, in the midst of my imperfection, his love for me is unending. Every time I miss the mark that I’ve set for myself, his mercy never comes to an end. How incredible is that? Even after years of walking in relationship with Jesus, simple things like his grace towards me remain difficult to fully comprehend. When I can’t even give myself grace for my flaws, how is it that the creator of the universe can have endless mercy for me? The explanation? I’m not sure that is something that I’ll ever fully understand this side of eternity. I guess the simplest answer would be love. His steadfast love that never ceases.
This love that has saved me, restored me, and comforted me on countless occasions, has also reframed the question. It’s no longer, Why does God give me grace that I don’t feel I deserve or give to myself? It’s instead, God has given me grace, through that, I can learn to have grace for myself.
As I continue to read the bible and come to know more of God’s character, this concept of grace starts to sink in just a little bit more. Everyday is a learning experience, as I learn to let go of my old striving ways and show myself kindness. Everyday as I lean deeper into his love, I learn to love myself as he does. It hasn’t been a perfect path. I am human after all. Even so, it’s been an incredible perspective shift. When I mess up, as I inevitably do, I don’t dwell on my shortcomings. Instead I remember that I’ve been made new in Christ and his love for me never ceases.
God’s grace is a wonderful and generous gift. The fact that his mercies are new every morning is incredible. I may not deserve it, but I have it nonetheless, and for that I’m forever grateful. The next time I’m tempted to beat myself up for falling short of perfection, I’m choosing to lean on him and the grace that he’s given me. Thank God! Perfection is overrated anyway.
Xx M
