Embracing the Cringe
One of the habits I’m trying to break in this new year is fast forwarding through cringe moments in the movies and tv shows that I watch. I don’t know if it’s the shows today or if I’m just overly sensitive, but the amount of second hand embarrassment that I get while watching tv is unreal. When a moment gets to be too embarrassing to watch (*cough cough* The Summer I Turned Pretty), I simply fast forward to spare myself the pain. However, this does come back to bite me. As it turns out, there is important dialogue that occurs during these scenes. Inevitably I have to rewind, watch the cringe moments, and pay attention to the important parts that I missed.
It’s funny how often in my own life I try to fast forward through the cringe moments just to get to the good, pain free, parts of life. When things aren’t going according to plan or aren’t moving along fast enough, I mentally look ahead, plan, and dream for when life will “get good.” Only, there is no moment in life where everything is absolutely perfect. At least in my experience, when I reach a season that I’ve been dreaming of, my mind moves forward to eagerly anticipate the next thing. Then the cycle continues.
When I look back through old journals, I’m reminded of the wonderful things God has taught me in the in between moments in life. There were so many seasons in my past where I wished I could skip to the next thing without fully appreciating the here and now. Now, looking back, I can see the growth, joy, and memories made while in the between. Those moments, although between major milestones, held their own significance. It was there where I grew as an individual, where I deepened my relationships, where I tried new things, failed and tried again. I’ve learned the most about myself in the seasons that are seemingly ordinary.
As I type this, in the middle of what feels like another in between season, I’ve come to realize that I don’t want to waste anymore time so focused on the future that my life passes me by. Instead, I want to lean into all that God has for me now. I’ve seen him use the ordinary and difficult seasons of my past for his good, and I can trust that nothing is wasted.
My recent prayer has been that God would give me a fresh perspective in this season. That he would open my eyes to his goodness in everyday, and that I would see the value in this and every season. Since I’ve started doing this, my circumstances haven’t immediately changed. However, my thought process has changed, and that has made all the difference.
If you’re feeling stuck, like you want to fast forward to the good stuff, I see you and I can relate. You may not be where you want to be, but by the grace of God, you’ll get there. In the meantime, while you dream of the future, lean in to the right now. Give yourself grace, let yourself learn, and don’t be afraid to embrace the cringe.
Xx M
